格桑花

Yesterday night was the traditional Chinese New Year’s Eve. I attended the party hosted by my classmates Ying and Yi-Chin. They also invited some foreign friends, like American, Japanese, Mexican, to enjoy the moments with us together. It’s a potluck party, so everybody bring a dish or wine, therefore we could enjoy so many kinds of food, it’s really awesome!I kept eating from around 06:00pm to 09:00pm, overfull[face17]

After all the foreign friends left around 10:00pm, Ying, Yi-Chin, Jinxiang ,Xuxu and I had a nice talk for about two hours. If Jinxing had no need to catch the bus, I believe we can keep talking. We recalled our life in China, the pressure people should face in China right after their graduation from university, especially for men;we talk a lot about TV drama, movie, our favorite director etc., our attitude toward life, how to be a great lady with free life.... Many many topics that I can join in.

Following our routine schedule in HBH, we can just say Hi to each other for full courses load. But during the party, we were so engaged and totally forgot our busy life in HBH, we just enjoyed the great moments with all our relatives and friends in China, I was so so so happy!

Yey~~Great New Year’s Eve definitely predicted a wonderful year with surprises and harvest![face42]

Now in Beijing time, it’s traditional Chinese New Year Eve, but here, in the United States, I have to wait until tomorrow. When I think about something, I wanna write it down here. Actually I haven’t left any words in MSN SPACES for long time. Sort of like here more than ever. Free feeling is amazing though.

This afternoon’s review session made me so upset, TA’s explanation was a little bit confusing, over 90 students sat in the huge auditorium, but few of them could give the TA a response. To my surprise, I was so calm and believed I could handle all the questions eventually.

Then I went to GYM just for fun with Qiuhan, I walked on the cardio machine for fifteen minutes and then I was exhausted, poor girl!

Back to home, crazily ate up two chocolate crackers, fat girl, xixi!

Now should begin to work on my Management Science, hopefully everything would go well.

I got my nickname BIRD when I was an undergraduate student in China University of Political Science and Law. At that time, above 100 girls lived in one flat, everyday some of us sat together, having our meals together, studying together, chatting together, even washing our clothes together, there were gone those happy days. We all just called our nicknames, which made us like a family. Now we are working in different places, but still we use the nicknames to call each other, like we are always with each other.

This winter break, I really got a good relaxation, which was a remedy to my last crazy semester, when I could just sleep for 3 to 4 hours every day. But the bad result was that I still can not put myself on the track of concentrating on studying even after the spring semeter has begun for two weeks. I’m really a little bit worried about my situation. Everyday I want to get up at 6:00am, but I never make it, always one hour late. Since the Chinese new year is coming this weekend, I still can’t work hard. Girl, you can not do like this any more, otherwise you can not survive for the crazier semester. Should work hard , should be an early bird everyday, should eventaully graduate successfully, all right?Don’t forget, your nickname is BIRD, therefore, try to be an early bird, you’ll be rewarded then, everything would be ok then.

Work hard, BIRD!Add oil! Still I’ll say, girl, you can make it, believe yourself![face42]

Although I’ve been in the United States for more than eight months, I still keep writing in Chinese, which is really not helpful to my English writing skills. I have another place to write about my thoughts, my routine life, and my memory,where is exactly the MSN SPACES, in that place, I shared some common feelings about life with my friends, but still I fear to tell them my true feeling about passing love, my sorrow, my desperation, actually I don’t want to let them know that, all those negative emotions should belong to myself and I can only post them here. Maybe some strangers in the world would stop by and leave their comments, but that would be better than I exposed my deep mind to my close friends.
I never wrote in English there, either. Because I’m not confident if what I write is correct. But still I can write in English here, just like a practice, nobody will care my poor writing skill, my grammar mistakes,haha~~
Here is my own home, here is my real diary place!I’ll keep writing in English here, maybe everyday, yey~~
Happy Chinese New Year!
Girl, you can make it during the crazy semester!You’ll be fine soon!You can buy whatever you want in the near future!I bet!

今天突然又下雪了，寒冬还远没有走开，站在车站等车，看着5月要举行毕业典礼的礼堂，不禁想起，他也要参加吗？有些害怕，怕见到他，确切地说是不想见到他，一辈子都不想再见到，我不是那种洒脱得当什么都没发生，见面还可以有说有笑的人，抑或是时间不够，几年以后也许我可以做到，不过现在，我一定做不到。也许他工作忙不会参加，但是依他的个性我想他会参加。那么只求上天保佑我不要见到他吧，也许到时候见了，我可以装得很洒脱，问候，甚至是热情的问候，但是我知道我的心会疼，我不想那样。。。

昨天看了一个暑假认识的CS系PHD的个人网站，很PP的MM，MAY也要毕业了，一不小心还看了她PROPOSAL的PPT，太COOL了，全不明白，不过好在可以用术业有专攻解释，^_^
开始很羡慕，用近五年的时间完成学业，还有环美游甚至欧游，羡慕得我哟，眼睛放亮～～接下来可没那么好了，开始想自己和她的种种差距，郁闷，郁闷得要命～～再接着，想了，她来美国5年了，我呢，我八个月呢，所以所以，不能看年纪，而要看经历得累积。
今天和易锦说起来，她得反应和我差不多，我反而开始劝她，比我们好的人太多了，可是比我们差的也很多很多，大家都是在过自己的生活，所以我们LEAD好我们自己的LIFE就好了，不是吗？
心情总是这样游移，在绝望和希望间游移，也许人生就是这样的一个过程吧，不是简单的往返，而是螺旋的上升。。。
晚上逛到一个女生的BLOG，关于H1B的一篇让我重燃希望，而且晚上还看了几个JOB REQUIREMENTS LISTS， 虽然自己现在不会，但是只要学习能力尚可，接受能力尚可，NOTHING IMPOSSIBLE, 不是吗？
加油吧，雨后天晴的女孩！我的生活每一天都该是这样，雨后天晴，空气清新，打出生妈妈就给我这样的名字，那么这辈子就带着这样的名字，这样的爽朗，好好过吧：）幸福就在不远处！[face39]

这两天都是阳光灿烂，心里的事情开始多起来，理想似乎又回归，可是没有以前那么堵得慌了，我开始相信2006年我真的要转运了：）我终于开始冲出心灵的重围！
很开心，在06年开始的这个月，我想起过去的伤心事不再有痛心的感觉，只是偶尔当作一段往事，告诉自己该是向前看的时候了。我越来越明白，其实我是一个很自重、自尊的女孩子，我所有的难过只不过是为自己伤心，我知道我的家人关心我，我的朋友惦记我，我有理由为自己的幸福，也为他们的安心努力！
这两天并没有学习，看了《天涯侠医》，但是我想对于振奋精神一定是很有意义的。感觉人生的意义绝不在于一日三餐，曾经是那么渴望去帮助那些需要帮助的人，那么渴望进入国际非盈利性组织做一名志愿者，哪怕自己穷一点，苦一点都没有关系，只要我的生命价值可以在帮助别人中得到实现。也许后来慢慢大了，变得现实了，也许激情永远是短暂的，我渐渐淡忘了自己的理想，可是在看《天涯》的那一刻，看到医生的崇高医德，我又一次被触动，喜欢王甫医生治病也医人的龙城精神，喜欢晴晴单纯善良，简简单单，爽爽朗朗。我决定，无论如何，无论什么时候，我都不会放弃自己曾经的理想，我现在所要奋斗的一切都是为有一天能实现自己的理想！
加油，努力前进！