格桑花

Last night I was going to go shopping with Daniel for today’s party at his apartment, I felt I couldn’t find the best reason to say ’I don’t want to go to the party’, so I was finally going to compromise...after he called me, he was going to pick me up...then I got the call as usual after 15 mins, and I said, I’ll be out~surprisingly, he said, no, I’m not there~the reason was that he couldn’t find his car at his parking lot, and he thought the car was stolen, then he started dealing with the following things like calling the police and the insurance company...

To comfort him, I agreed to walk for a while with him, so he walked to my apartment and we took a short walk near the neighborhood...being an adult, there came so many thoughts related to the car’s loss upon my mind, like we couldn’t go to DC, Cleveland, I couldn’t take the driving class...oh, man~I must have thought too much...but forget about others, there’s at least one point I could keep in mind, I got the best reason for not going to the party~He’s trying to hold my hand, and this time I held his too so that on one side, I was showing my support to him, on the other side, I got a much stronger reason for not going to the party, see, I’m so nice, and you should agree with what I’m requesting, I was begging him like a little girl~and finally I succeeded~he agreed no matter how reluctant he was...at the good-bye time, he thanked me for cheering him up~it seemed the end of the story, but it was just not~

This morning I was checking my email, there it was, an email from him saying he found his car, obviously there were a lot of reasons to explain the truth he forgot he drove the car to his lab, like lack of sleep, the habit of never driving to lab...at that moment, I was just realizing the reminder I gave to him yesterday, ’are you sure you didn’t drive to anywhere else?’...the interesting thing why I was asking is that I did see a Honda near his lab, and right after that, the shuttle was passing his building, and I was able to confirm if that was his car near his lab, and I sort of got the confirmation because his parking lot was empty...now I’m feeling sometimes my intuition is so strong~~~then can I predict my own future?

Alright, now, it’s almost the end of the story...I can not say it’s a bad story, because for me, I was showing my emotion, support and good personalities to him, and also I got to stay at home tonight, enjoying the tranquility...for him, he finally was able to hold my hand, and he didn’t lose his car...we kind of felt closer...maybe it’s a good story planned by God?

Life is an adventure...and that’s why all of us are enjoying it...

No need to change the weather status on this blog, it IS awesome~I wish I could do it all the time~

Meredith used TGIF as her blog title today~she’s going to take a vacation next week, which means I’m gonna miss her, by only seeing Matt...it’s selfish thinking that the co-anchors should never take vacations so that I’m able to see them every single day...but they are human beings...

I wrote something on my MSN blog today at the end of March, I said I was given a long vacation so that I could recover from being tortured by my graduate school last year, I’m in a good shape now~am I ready for a new career, a new life? Who knows~

I was helping Jinxiang fill in his tax forms, see, after making many mistakes, I finally got to be professional~experiences do count...at that moment, I got a phone call from Ying asking if I was interested in going to gym, unfortunately, I didn’t bring my workout clothes...then right after that, I got Daniel’s short message saying he’s on campus for a short meeting and the weather outside is really nice, if I would like to take a short walk. I easily answered YES, because of the nice weather, not because of his asking...he looked not so excited, at least not as before when he saw me~I might screw up something, but I’m gonna remedy that~he decided to host a party tomorrow at his apt, which I guessed so... but I really don’t want to go...the result would be that either I compromise, or he does...but it seems this time he’s holding the power...he asked me to think about it...why push me?

Anyway, nice Friday, with sunshine still at 7pm, I’m going home with a good mood~

My uncle introduced someone to me for helping me on my job-hunting, I don’t know if it’s really helpful, but I do appreciate that so many people take care of me sooooooo muuuuuuuch, although I could not get a job currently, I would never regret for my ongoing life, strong family support, beloved friends around, with healthy life everyday... what else should I expect?

TGIF...

选择了5点离开学校，久坐一天，甚至有些百无聊赖，外面春风当依旧，人面当桃花，阳光极刺目。。。我们翘首太久的春就这样和我们默契融合～接下来的三、四个月，很多很多人要开始新生活，我应该也是，但究竟是一种什么样的生活呢？未知的永远神秘，这种持久的期待其实也很珍贵。

两天没给妈邮件，第一天是无事可写，第二天是有事未写，可想她的担心，我说我理解，其实我还是不懂事。她说又清明了，我们周末去给你奶奶扫墓了，我于是又看着蓝天发呆，想念我的家乡，家乡的人，家乡的幼年和青年～岁月，终于终于带给我一些有些分量的沉淀，我不知道这是好事还是坏事，脑子里究竟是有回忆好还是没有回忆好，其实我自己有些恍惚了～可曾想过人生？

我其实极喜欢这样开阔的漫天阳光，金色的，让人不满怀憧憬都不行，我想，为什么自己就不能放开一些，让自己和别人都开心，一定要别别扭扭的，是不是觉得生活太静好，愣要找点事才罢休呢，但是我不能通过写email的方式去确认一些事，不能，我打算在一个阳光灿烂的日子，给大家再添些美好回忆，好吧，就这样！

I’ve been thinking about my dilemma for a couple of months actually, but I just clearly pumped the question for Daniel the day before yesterday and let him think about it. I was not supposed to deal with a relationship by my own, and that’s not fair...it is a relationship about two people, both of whom should be accountable...he had no idea, either, maybe we just enjoy it and see what happens? It could be...We had kinda a serious talk about our future last night with no result ending up I gave him a hug, a light hug...sometimes people do get themselves some puzzles without solutions and stuck...then how can I get myself out...maybe from my deep heart I’ve already decided to follow the regular, original way, which is to continue the relationship...alright, then follow my heart, that’s what weiwei told me many times...I should not take it as a trouble for me, Spring is already at the gate...

It seems I made many mistakes in my life these days, I was just not soooo me...I filed the federal tax form wrong by fogetting my 1042s, I filed the local tax form to the wrong address by not realizing EMS should not be included in the original tax refund...I don’t know if I should fill in the amended form...I’m wondering, what’s wrong with me, again?

I didn’t email my mom for almost two days, and I was so sure she would be worried about me, but I just couldn’t finish the communication with her before I was going for the talk with Daniel yesterday...life seemed out of my control anyway...

Meredith wrote today she was having a bad week, then what about me, a bad week, a bad month, or even a bad year~how strong should I be? what about the next year?

Life is tough~currently~

Hope everything is well with me...pray...

I have no idea if it’s because of my coming period, just feeling so sad again on the way to school this morning, thinking too much about my future, my relationship...those seem to be eternal headaches for me...and I won’t figure out, ever...

I’m always over sensitive, and I strongly felt I was hurt by yesterday’s conversation with Daniel and kind of totally disappointed with the coming relationship I was intended to be engaging...my thoughts were like a mess, all of a sudden, I lost all my hopes...and I was trying to figure out all the ways that I could stay here for job-hunting a little bit longer, but it seemed I couldn’t go out with any of them...I lost my mind what I should do next, and nobody can help me out...this is really a confusing time in my life...

I had a talk with Qiuhan around noon, she was trying to help, but as I said, the only one who can help would be myself...need to calm down and keep thinking, with courage and savvy!

The weather is nice, but I’m sad again and again and again...

Temperature, 69 F...don’t know if it’s the final coming of Spring, it won’t go back and let the winter torture us again...anyway, it is NOW warm Spring, pure blue sky, brightening sunshine, with mild breeze...everyone should enjoy it!

I had a nice trip to Baltimore last Friday to Saturday with Ying, Jinxiang&Xuxu, and Haijing~naming that we were going for a conference with the Prof, actually we were going for fun...had a nice lunch at M&S grill, where I tried salmon, walked around the famous harbor area, bumping into a $7.5 J.Crew skirt, which was originally priced at $69.5~LOL~passed by Lexington Market, went through many Sheraton, had a super nice sea food dinner at Legal Sea Food with Prof., having my favorite chowder...then a long talk, or chat with Ying and Haijing before sleep...the next day when we were on the way back to Pittsburgh, we happened to see a Prime Outlet, then I got another deal at Clark, a pair of nice casual shoes...it’s sort of the start of a nice weekend~

I had a long date with Daniel today starting from this afternoon till 9pm at night~the weather was just soooooooo nice, I didn’t want to disappoint him, so I proposed that before we went shopping, we might choose a park to walk around~that’s a bad decision for me to make, which got proven later~I had a muddy walk around Schenley Park, which ruined my shoes, jeans and kind of a good mood~since then I could not be concentrating on the conversations we had any more, thinking about my dirty shoes and jeans all the way...that’s just me~so like Bree in Desperate Housewives, right? The shopping was not so fruitful, I only got something for Amy from BBW, I guess I didn’t want a man as my clothes or shoes or bags taster, I may go shopping with gals again next time...anyway found a nice cotton&silk shirt at Ann Taylor LOFT, but just couldn’t make the decision by myself!

We stopped by DSW after that, where I tried super-high heels, I love them, but still couldn’t take the price...

Dinner at Bangkok, a little bit noisy~then went to see his trip photos, got to know Peru is so poor. Maybe I should love my country...he tried to hug me again and again around the good-bye time, the bad thing was that I didn’t have any feeling, and I didn’t want to push myself~just being myself, I’ve been doing this for long time, and no reason to give up my own rule~I told Daniel to give me more time, and he said he would wait~alright, wait till I’m having the same feeling as him...two points to get me losing the feeling about him, one was that this afternoon we went to the place that I was always going with my ex, I didn’t feel any hurt this time anyway, but still it made me a little bit uncomfortable;second was that we talked about the marriage age, he said he would think about it five years later, which kind of disappointed me because I was thinking I would not be the ONE...in another word, there’s no possibility that we would be with each other...then it doesn’t make any sense I should make any commitment to him being his girlfriend, I would not choose to waste my love...ok, forget it...I think too much~

My point of this entry is everyone’s life, that’s true:
Amy’s hubby came to visit her for a week,
Yichin went to Ann Arbor visiting her future school, advisor and classmates...
Qiuhan got her family reunion by seeing her son and mom’s coming
Ying, Jinxiang and myself had a lot of fun over the trip...

Everyone is on the track, in the sunny and warm Spring, holding hopes and taking challenges, pursuing the meaning of life...I should and I would, too...

I made a stupid mistake for filling in my tax form, which bothered me in the late afternoon after I realized it, and got myself nuts...I was supposed to have an excellent memory, but I failed this time, I even forgot the important document...then I brought myself a huge trouble~it’s all about money, anyway, if I don’t care, I should not be bothered...but, I do care, it’s money ah...so, just be trying to follow all the instructions and do the damn paper work...I was wondering these days why I was always in a bad luck??? Life is sooooo tough!

The weather finally turned to be warm and I was happy about that, trying to ignore the crazy wind...it started raining around 06:00pm when I was taking the shuttle home, and obviously I got wet, comparing to the troublesome tax forms, this was nothing to me.

Daniel begged to see me for a while before my leaving to Baltimore,even we’ll still have the chance to meet over this weekend, so he came directly from work tonight and we talked for minutes outside my apt. He bought me a pair of earrings from Peru, which I think was nice, but you may know a boy’s taste, maybe I’ll just keep it as a gift and never try on it, would he be disappointed not seeing I wear those? I didn’t give him a hug as I was originally thinking, the reason sounded ridiculous, he didn’t shave...which I sort of can not bear, even it’s just so normal for an American, I’m always picky...hope he’ll look great on Sun.

Well, I’m going to pack, I just realized I hate packing...

Keep in mind, everything has a way out...

This Friday my friends and I are heading to Baltimore for a conference, actually we are just seating in the conference, so there’s no pressure to do anything, and it seems we are going only for fun...I even just checked online what must-sees are and where the best restaurant is in Baltimore...

Sometimes I totally forget my troublesome future, and just try to enjoy life with my friends, and that is really good for me~I’m feeling I’m on the track.

After the prof.’s leaving this afternoon, I gave myself a break by happily shopping online, I’ve missed the chance to buy pants at J.Crew, can not miss more... I got a pair of flat from Ann Taylor LOFT, I just love flat, all kinds of, finally I chose the deep blue ones, suede:) Hope it fits!

Today I read some girl’s blog of travelling to Hong Kong, and she mentioned G2000, OMG, at that moment, I just realized that I almost forgot this brand. Maybe I forgot too much~

Anyway, I’ve been working hard for some days, and tomorrow I’m gonna finish the OCBC online test, and try to send out some resumes...still keep fighting~

Welcome a short but happy trip to Baltimore on Friday with my friends...

It kept raining the whole day, and I kept busy on some tables the whole day~the prof. also kept working on his conference paper for not only the whole day~the office was never so full~what a day for everyone~Spring break was just over and today was the first day of mini two, it’s time to think about the good-bye thing~I still have no idea where I’m going since I got refused by depressing reasons~being tired seemed to be the theme for me for the day~

Anyway, I got an email from Daniel and was told he again was at the Lima airport and was going to board...tomorrow he would be in the States, which is his home~I was feeling I would be tired tomorrow and would not see him~maybe Wed. I could recover~hope he would be my support, I’m supposed to be giving him a welcome-back hug~that would be nice!

好久不写中文。。。

春假的最后一天，周日，老师的conference paper due day眼看着就到了，于是今天我也没歇着，早早到学校，晨间，空气依旧清冷，全无春意，静谧的街道，无人，只有偶尔几辆来往车辆，以及间或变换的红绿灯是动态。我的思乡情结于是开始蔓延，尤其等着校车，被冻得跺着小脚跳来跳去的时候，只有家，只有爸妈，让我觉得自己有力量战胜任何困难，永远不倒！

白天流光极快，在表格、公式，还有极难吃的叉烧盖饭，小壶绿茶，以及和xuxu的两次闲聊中渡过，让我早上十点到校的老师最终也没有露面，下午5点多发来邮件说，忙完要去shopping to take a break了，这样我也就决定安安心心回家烧饭洗衣了。完全忘记了周末，完全忘记了校车也在6：15有一个break，于是又在寒冬中等了近半小时，漫不经心打开一家衣店的网站，看着那些俏丽的春装，我几乎要再多打几个寒战，敲打键盘的手近乎要冻僵，忍不住咒骂了好多遍这该死的天气，什么时候是个头？于是索性关了电脑数分钟，期盼着校车司机可以慈悲一点，早些开出车。。。无意中却看到了温暖的一幕，大概是一对情侣的相见，还隔了5米远，男生早早张开双臂，女生于是就满脸带笑地迎了上去，一个natural kiss，看得我满脸笑意，真幸福啊～at that time,I was thinking I was supposed to be giving Daniel a hug or even a natural kiss to welcome his coming back~maybe～中午吃饭的时候，fortune cookie里拿到的签说得极是，love is a good present to be given in every single day you live...maybe it’s the perfect timing...

回家的路上，天边的晚霞还闪着金光，我告诉自己，这该是一个充满希望的世界，我要继续努力！这个春假，有最开始的纽约行，有打击后的短暂脆弱，也有脆弱后的振作与坚强，于是，这便成了一个成长的春假～

我终于也开始想念人了，我终于有了一些似曾相识的感觉，我终于又可以想到一个人的时候觉得有温暖，有力量，所以我该怀着感恩的心继续前进～wish him a safe flight back~

I was walking on my way to catch the school shuttle this early morning, feeling it’s so quiet on Sunday’s morning around my neighborhood, and I was happy that I was an early bird today~I told myself many many times on the way,I would never fall down, never~being strong~Nothing can stop me or can defeat me~

My talk with mom last night was good, she encouraged me to try to be comfortable in any circumstance, although I had no idea if she really thought that way~anyway, she’s my mom, and she’d always wish me the best!

I went shopping with Amy and Emily yesterday, they both got a lot of deals, and I only chose one pair of short for myself and a box of baby gift for Li. I got even the GAP card application rejection, that was so ridiculous, it seemed that the not-my-day thing was going on and on, and I had no idea when it would end...so frustrated...

BUT today is sunny, and the frigid weather is recovering, and Daniel will be back soon, I told my mom my true feeling about him, he sort of is there supporting me so much even he did nothing...so it’s good, I’m still holding my life~this might be the hardest time, but also the best time...

It snows again, starting from yesterday~exactly like my mood~Tuesday when I came back from NYC, I was holding my hopes and the weather was so nice up to 70 degree~but now, almost all my hopes were suddenly gone, and the temperature dropped dramatically below 37, snowing again~I’m wondering, does God really know what I’m thinking and how I’m feeling? Thank God!

I couldn’t help crying yesterday when I got the news from Capital One’s Hilary, "could not move forward", I just felt so disappointed that this time I failed not because I didn’t try my best, not because I didn’t do well in the test, but because the damn visa issue~visa~visa~it’s painful , and it’s cruel~but I should be confident, right? I did well in the test this time, which means as long as I take everything seriously, I could achieve the point I want to be! Then when I got home from the damn weather, two rejection letters from citi were on the table lying there~how could I bear so many refusals during just one day~am I really strong to make myself calm down, given the despair situation? I was trying, and made some phone calls to my friends, ending up with big laughs, I should be fine soon, and I’ll be even stronger than ever, it IS growing up that everyone should confront somewhere, sometime, it’s just now, here am I~I don’t want to complain tonight to my mom, she must be anxious if she knows I’m worrying about something~actually I’m trying to get through, to pull off, I AM strong! I wish I’d have a nice talk tonight with her!

It IS a great experience for me, being here, meeting all the people I like or love, learning language, and building my skills...all are invaluable~I should thank God again, and really really cherish what I’m having, and what I’m about to have~everything~hug life, even it’s tough!

Snow again, but I’ll never never feel cold~I’m having someone~I’m having myself~I finally would be a winner of life~who can last the longest, who wins![face42]

I have been tired for a couple of days, everyday when I stayed in the office for more than two hrs, I just could not concentrate, and that was too bad. But there’s a voice in my heart this morning, keep fighting, you’ll lose nothing~you are young, you are energetic, and you are smart and beautiful, definitely there’s a bright future out there for you to reach by working hard~

I was too tired to type a word here yesterday, so here are some pieces yesterday~I finally went to the CompUsa training center for the Capital One’s online assessment, weiwei drove me there, she’s a good driver, and I wish someday I could do the same thing as her~the test was not bad, because I knew the rule already, barely could finish, so just tried my best to make sure the ones I finished were correct and get as many as I could done within 35 mins’~after that, I was trying to be a shopping mania, getting clothes, shoes, bags... but ended up enjoying a pretzel with weiwei at a corner in the mall, that’s always been me~

I was filling in my income tax form, and wish I could get the refund soon:p Money is always tempting~

The weather went back to winter again, so depressing~but I should not care, I’m having my boy out there to keep me warm from inside...he’s the great support for me now, I think~thinking of him, I feel happier than before, and I would not say life is meaningless any more, see, it is the difference...hope everything is going well~he sort of gave me the courage and energy to keep fighting, I will~and I’m trying to win~keep fighting~

It was overcast today, but it was warm~I put on my Spring sweater and shoes~felt myself in a not-bad mood~I just felt a little bit tired because of my period situation, and was thinking I lacked energy~that meant I might not be productive today, although I was trying to work hard~

The building was so quiet, and the campus as well~I’ve been through this before~but this time I’m kind of missing someone far away in Peru enjoying his adventure there, haven’t heard from him for about four days~the weird thing is that I was so afraid that he would change his mind to be away from me, just like what my ex did going back from China, but I’m sure he would not~I know I’m ridiculous~I’m anxious maybe also because of the period situation~poor ladies~how can I think this way without making any commitment~stupid~worry about something that I never get~

It’s a bad entry, but I need to write down to be truly reflecting what I’m thinking, even I can not call it is a normal mind~

Going to refresh myself and hope I could do a good job tomorrow~Still keep my momentum~

I walked along central park west and south this morning on the way to and back from Lehman Brothers~the interveiw was not bad, but I just can not trust my own feeling, that’s the interview rule~only I could say is that I’ve tried my best, to listen, to talk and to smile~Amy once told me, let God do anything else~yes, I sort of have a good impression about this giant company(I guess the one I bumped into outside the elevator is a VP of some division, which just I don’t know, but he’s so nice trying to help and didn’t make me realize he’s a senior, I appreciated so much later when I realized that~), I love the position and I love the guys I’ll be working for and with if I could:) Still wish me good luck~as I told myself, as weiwei blessed me yesterday~

I felt so relieved right after the interview, although there would be bunch of things waiting for me out there to deal with~I just wanted to relax at least on the flight heading back to Pittsburgh~I left my aunt’s apt at around 12:30pm, and successfully took the right bound A to JFK, everything was going smoothly~I even got a call from Xiang right after I checked-in and found my boarding gate~I enjoyed a cup of grandie starbucks coffee mocha, while starting typing my travel blog a little bit, waiting for the time to board~the flight was almost on time, and finally I landed at Pittsburgh being told the weather was pretty nice, great! 28X, shuttle, talked to many dear friends via phone, then home~

It was a wonderful trip!

The day before the interview, I got an email from Charly for confirming all my interviews with both HR Ops/ITD and the VP of ITD, totally up to an hour~that’s a good sign, too, I wish~so far everything is going well~I appreciate~

I was happy to get Daniel’s email right after I was thinking I should~the chemistry is just getting stronger and stronger~which made me satisfied and confident, too~

This morning I walked down to the interview building by passing through the famous broadway, I even took a far-away look at the Times Square standing on the 7th Ave waiting for the green light~It’s a big big city with big population, busy, noisy, or even dirty~am I really gonna like it someday in the future? Like the way I’ve been through with Beijing? Not sure so far~but I know now I’m just a traveller~

I’m still a little bit nervous about tomorrow, because of the company’s brand and reputation,the solemn building which I’m always afraid of, the talented in the people profile I read, would I be qualified to join them? That’s why my parents told me to be confident, they just know me so well~
I should tell myself loudly, forget so much unrelated stuff, think straight and do right what I need to do~

Calm down and be confident, that’s it! I wish I could enjoy my lunch with my senior in a nice restaurant~I wish my flight would be on time, and I would arrive at home safely~I wish I would be productive working for my Prof., and I wish I would see Daniel early next week, and give him a hug,that’s it!
***
Got a call later this afternoon that my senior could not see me due to her healthy issue~I think that’s fine~and this even made things simple~There would be no need for me to rush here and there~the thing could be nice going either way~

The first day, the first time,being at New York City, the Friends’ city, the Sex and the City Gals’ city~ I was not excited though stepping out of JFK~everything was going well under my friend’s detailed directions, and after 2 hours’ commuting, I finally got to meet them at Brooklyn 77 St. subway station~The weather was nice, except for some weird wind~Right, it’s New York City, and I’m finally on the land~Tonight I’ll head for Manhattan, comparing to the tranquility here, would there be gorgeous?

I was telling my mom and my aunt that I was not nervous at all~but mentally, or inside, I know I’m nervous about the coming interview, I wouldn’t think more about the result, I’m thinking how to move forward the process smoothly. It would be about just an hour~but the one hour seems very important to me~trying~trying my best~

Maybe I’ll not have any sense about this big city this time, considering that I’ll not travel to any sites~maybe I need time to indulge myself in the landscape, the culture next time, or in a long run~who can tell what would happen tomorrow~who knows where you would invest your love beforehand~

I’ve been thinking about Daniel and the moments of recently being with him all the way from Pittsburgh to NYC, the view outside was nice, the music was perfect and uplifting~maybe it’s time to be making commitment~once I’m getting things done~I think I’m willing to~

Everyday keeping momentum~

We had a great lunch this noon at Li’s apartment, and her father-in-law is a top chef in China. Finally I got one chance to taste the very traditional Chinese dishes over almost two years~I couldn’t imagine one day if I go back to China, how much weight I would gain because of crazy eating:)

We also chatted a lot over many topics, and that was fun, too~anyway, a happy get-together before I’m leaving for NYC~I’m still a little bit nervous about this trip, and I checked the subway route again and again, and was trying to remember all the important transfer stations to make sure that I would not get lost. I did prepare carefully, so I should be confident that I’d be fine~

I may be off here for a couple of days~will keep writing after coming back~

This morning I got two sweet emails, from my dear mom and another kinda dear one~I suddenly felt touched~thanks for both~

Wish myself goooooooooooooooooooooooooooood luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck in NYC again~Keep Momentum~

Today the weather was really nice, and I appreciated sooooo much~I finally took the Capital One’s online assessment this early morning, and I was told to take another cognitive assessment next Thursday at a computer center 6 miles away from my apt, which was totally ok for me~at least it means hope~and Weiwei volunteered to drive me there~she’s been always nice~chemistry between us is strong~I don’t have to even ask~

Another thing done today was that I got Prof. and financial management office’s permission to work on another two months till May 1~after that, I’m planning a vacation or something, like working at NYC:) I appreciated again for the Prof.’s being generous.

He discussed with us how to move forward the preparation for the conference at the end of this month, we got an outline and he assigned us some work~since the weather was tremendously enjoyable, we didn’t feel any pressure or stress by the overwhelming assignments~let them be~we’ll get all of them done by next Friday!

I got the discount code of AE online shopping from weiwei so that I could get my desirable black bra with only $10, which originally should be $25, what a big deal~and the quality looked great~I was happy about that~because I was just thinking about buying one someday yesterday, and then today I did~without any hunting~

I know Daniel better than before, so did he, I’m sure~I guess he would send me a message at the transfer airport, right after I came back from the discussion, I checked my cell, and there it was~with a sweet signature~I think I’m gonna miss him a little bit over next week, of course after coming back from NYC~he encouraged me again for the coming interview thing~I strongly felt the support and warmth~

I made some phone calls tonight, but still could not make sure where I’m going on Sun. afternoon~maybe attend a small get-together at China Town with my huge backpack, which seems embarrassing~but so what~who cares~I should be confident and brave in the sexy city~

The night therefore was not so productive~ I wish I could get up early tomorrow morning to review~to think about all the questions~I should be fine~

I wish my Spring break would be fruitful, fun and rewarding~bless!

This is not the first time that I tell myself to keep momentum~amy even put this on her MSN nickname~I was so moved to see that~

It was time to say goodbye for today’s meeting, instead of that I was going to hug him, Daniel said, do you think we’ll meet tomorrow, I said, maybe not~then he said, I’ll give you a hug~all happened naturally~I thought it was just kind of a friend’s hug~but I could tell it’s from his deep heart~I trust this man, or boy~

Citi sent me a strange and depressing message to be going to testify my student status, of course my last application failed again~so I decided to apply for just its dividend card, not a student card.Maybe this time it works~I hope, and I’ll never lose my heart~

The same thing for my job-hunting,I hope and I’ll never lose my heart~I’ll go to NYC this Sunday~I’ll keep momentum, not for today, this month, this year, I’ll do it, EVER~

KEEP MOMENTUM~Wish you gooooooooooooood luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck in NYC~

The weather is cold as always, but I don’t care~

My day was begun with the gym hour with Amy, she was so wondering where came my motivation to keep gyming~I was wondering, too~maybe it’s kind of a self-pursue cycle,and it came back after like two years or more since I stopped working in China~I was eager for shopping the other day when I got Amy’s email about shopping together one week later, I just felt I was having so much stuff to buy, to change, to renew~yes, maybe also because it is being Spring, a totally new season of the new year~there’s always something out there for me to expect to refresh myself....

Java shared me the pics of the Chinese New Year’s high school classmates get-together at my dear hometown~she’s always thoughtful and nice, especially she started her career as a sales manager, she’s starting being good at psychology...she totally understood how much I miss them all~those gals, who companied me for my most beautiful and gorgeous three years of my high school, are always my fresh and sweet memories~now, some of them are wearing rings on their ring fingers, and they are changing, but they are still young and charming, I touched their changes, or I couldn’t find any of their changes~I love them, ever~the pure hearts, the cordial friendship, ever~

It is snowing, but I’m smiling~I wish I could smile more soon later~

***
I got my first credit card in the US today, although the credit line is not so high, it’s enough for me to gain credits~I was so sure I would get it today when I opened the mail box...
I finally will go to NYC, for visiting my aunt, and trying my best on the interview~keep momentum~
I talked to li via MSN again for the plan of visiting her family early next month, I’ll be introduced to her baby, meanwhile, I’ll introduce someone to them couple, and I’m sure finally someone would be getting the fact, and that’s what I want...

I was so nervous over this morning ’s phone interview, and the HR seemed not so nice as I could imagine, at least not as Capital One’s. I was so sure about the result, but I was just gaining an experience, no harm at all~now it’s over~I gotta forget it and move on to the next step~I’m still wishing a good result someday out there~I’ll try my best~at least I know what I need to improve~also it’s kind of like an alarm~

The damn weather, keeps snowing~which is so depressing~it seems the Spring would never come!The only thing that can refresh me is that I’m having a boy to hug, yes, now I would say, I’m ready to hug him~

I made up my mind to get up around 6:30am every morning, just like what I did this morning and when I was working in China, I definitely can make that, I’m just too lazy to make it, thus I could have two more hours everyday, which would extend my life~I’m actually a girl who only need 6 hours sleep~don’t waste time any longer~

Well, keep the momentum~keep fighting~

倒春寒？又是一个纷扬雪花的周末，今天有一种强烈地被遗弃的感觉，于是想起刘老师说，有气才有志，是谓“志气”，我不应该再这么活下去了，一定要实实在在地活，要别人看得起自己，更要自己觉得自己的生命有意义～青春年华，是真的耀眼，也真的不容浪费～

距离初次相识的上个感恩节已是三月又几日，而下一个感恩节的来临也不过是不到九个月，一年不过十二月。昨天，当有一个温暖真心的拥抱时，我想，这大概是一个成熟的拥抱，我也知道，这大概是绝对发自内心的，而我沉睡的记忆仿佛惊醒，05年夏天留下的种种又一次袭击了我，于是我没有接受。必须要承认，我是个绝对敏感的人，这样，真是，太累了。可能，还需要时间，如此，我们都期盼着春天。到时候，我是一个不会旧病复发的人，我健康在阳光下。我也可以忘，我也可以放！

好了，面试始终不想复习，真是懒到家了～要振作，振作，振作！！！

I wrote this afternoon about how much I like Meredith on MSNBC~but I was in a hurry going home with Ying and YiChin, so everything was disappeared. I probably could not rewrite exactly the same sentences, but here is something in my mind: Meredith has such a sense of humor, and I like her sooooo much~I did learn a lot from her blog, her stories, opinions, life perspectives....I’m eager to read her new entry everyday~people commented she’s so genuine, which I 100% agree!I know a lot of hosts from different shows of the US, but I feel she’s my favorite. I had a rough impression about the ex co-anchor of TODAY, Katie, she’d been there for 15 yrs before Meredith took over in Oct. 2006. There were hundreds of thousands of people loving Katie and they assumed they were never gonna like a new co-anchor, finally, almost all of them ended up deciding to accept Meredith and starting loving her~which convinced my taste, I am seldom wrong:)

Something interesting happened this morning again~in my heart, Lehman Brothers Inc. is such a company that I should never apply, because I know who I am, I would not be qualified~so I was hesitating if I should post my resume, there’s no difference between posting it or not~well, a second later, I was thinking, since there’s no harm to post it, then why not~then I did~after about an hour, I got a phone call, which the number displaying on my cell started with 212, I knew it’s from New York, and I guessed it was my aunt~but it turned out to be not~later I got to make sure it was from Lehman Brothers HR, who wanted to set up a phone interview with me~I absolutely was not prepared to get a phone call from LB, especially so quickly~you can imagine how awkward I was, and how bad my answers were~but never mind, I got one opportunity, and I’ll try my best as I promised my friends for their bday wishes...

I took a good rest tonight at home without going to like poster session and ice skating party with Daniel, I think I need first relax and then get myself prepared for the online tests and the coming interview, they are my own business~I guess I should be able to make right decisions for myself, any decision~and I wish I am correct~

Goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooood luuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!

I was good this noon when I went to the gym with Amy, she told me she felt so tired because of the coming period~I was listening though, and didn’t realize mine is coming soon,too~then after coming back, I started feeling the same way, even worse, I was feeling soooo depressed and sore on my waist, and the emotion of being crying...gosh, those are always happening before my period...does that really mean I’m getting old and having such strong reactions? Hope I can get through soon, and still hold my dreams~

I met Daniel on campus this afternoon, it was a new experience for me because this has never happened before~I was excited not because the meeting thing but because I even had had a strong feeling of being meeting him before the actual meeting~I guess sometimes I’m like a witch~then I wish I could know my near future, and if all my bday wishes could come true as my friends blessed me~hope so...

Keep fighting although I was tired~keep up~

你，就是我～

终于在荒草丛生的msn挤了些字mark，大家的祝福真挚温暖，尤其是早上爸妈的录像，弄得我感动不已，这个世界最放我在心上的，当然永远是爸妈。有大家的祝福，我觉得我很快会好运的。实际上那种向目标前进的努力让人觉得真踏实。

老天今天也很给面子，多日雨雪，终于换成了碧空如洗，阳光偶现。我说，有些祝福我永远也不会有，可有些友情我永远不会失望。其实我真傻，新年的时候已经没有祝福，生日的时候又怎么会有。也许我根本就不该期盼，不该期盼那些不属于我的东西。anyway，我的周围永远不缺好朋友，永远不缺关怀，我其实是真真幸福的。那些没有的suppose可能应该出现的所谓情义，没有也就说明根本就没有存在的意义。生命里那几个认定的最好的朋友，sweet gals，不用我去记挂，那些祝福，那些鼓励，那些随时需要就可以求得的友情，一年一年沉淀，越沉越浓，怎么可以不欣慰～够了，够了，做人一定要知足。

感谢大家，同时也祝福自己，还是那句唯有努力，才可以不辜负大家。加油，一切都会很快好起来，祝你幸福快乐～