格桑花

There are 4M leapers in the world, and so, I am one of them...I feel lucky though...because people agree that we should pay more attention to this day, and this is really a special day...

Today is the 7th leap day that I’ve been through since I was born, and surely I got a lot of blessings, from my parents, my love, my dearest friends, or just my friends...it’s kinda overwhelming...I wish this year would be great...my boy said, this year should be great for us~~~

I hope he is right...because March is coming, and I am gonna march on...[face34]

Yes, my mood is a mix now....

I’m tired because I went to the MOJ again today, paying the annual audit fee and tried to get the official stamp on the office’s business license, but sometimes making a phone call is absolutely necessary, I didn’t do it, so I didn’t get the stamp, and so I need to stop by the bureau again...

Things are jammed up...I also need to stop by another center tomorrow for updating a certificate, also I am attending a tax lecture in the afternoon...I even can not make sure if I can have lunch tomorrow...how come...we are getting rewarded for what we give up or let go? If so, ok, I am willing to, 100%~

I’m happy because I finally got my W2 with my boy and Irina’s help...so that I can fill my tax without any problem, which I want to believe is a good sign as well...

I’m emotional because ok, I miss my boy, I forgot the feeling of holding hands, hugging, kissing again, what should I do~~~

I’m nervous because 12 days later, or even shorter, I will get/not get my school offer, can I really get it~I want to believe so~bless me...

The day was long, but like my boy, my brain is active, and I literally cannot fall asleep now...

Oh, today, I got my birthday gift from Yichin, exactly the same sleepwear as what Qiuhan sent me in Jan. except for the color and size. Gals are always sweet~I couldn’t help wondering, would Ying send me the same sleepwear too, hehehe...Yes, I am lonely now in the city, but I would love to expect that next year, I would not anymore...

First of all, I am wondering what’s wrong with my laptop, is it too old? I didn’t manage to chat with my mom online and will have to call her tomorrow instead, which is not that bad anyway...but I just wish my laptop can be ok, after all, it has accompanied me for almost three years...our relationship has been good~it witnessed all my moments in the US~

入题。。。29日也许并没有时间留下文字。。。

四年前我在北京，每日地铁上班，心中小小梦想早已飞跃半个地球；四年后我仍在北京，每日仍地铁上班，心中小小梦想再次已飞跃半个地球。。。生活似乎从不曾改变。。。然而

不可否认的是我背上大小箱子独自出现在LAX，36小时的飞行我毫不畏惧
不可否认的是熬过夜流过汗吞过泪之后的commencement我仍有小小激动
不可否认的是那语言那文化到我走的那天我仍不舍
不可否认的是那一场又一场最初的相遇，校园小径和Ying，自习室和YC，教室和AMY，休息室和QH，Lobby和JX&Xuxu。。。LOTUS with Dan。。。
不可否认的是P城的大小地方我们都一起走过笑过祝福过道别过
不可否认的是DC我们前进的步伐，B城的海鲜，极南城市的阳光海滩，NYC的奶茶与地铁。。。
不可否认的是鼓励安慰我们一直的支持和默契。。。
不可否认的是地球两边我们还在一条线上。。。

也许不可否认的还有我还会回到那个国度，很快，我们还会再见面，还会在一起笑闹也谈生活学业事业。。。

所以，四年，生活已改变了太多，回到原点是为了又一个美好的开始，I think I’m gonna make it...

我会许愿，爸妈、大家和自己都要好好的，顺顺利利的。。。

If I am correct, my boy may be depressed again, well, I am not sure, but there’s such a possibility...god, what can I do~we have made 6 months, why can’t we just make 3 more months? I mean he...

My day was actually not that bad, we finally got the chief representative’s certificate of practice, and we would have no problem with the 2006’s annual audit after I give the check out tomorrow. Then there are some certificates to be updated, which might take one to two weeks. Meanwhile, I will do as much as I could to prepare the 2007 annual audit. I decided to do a great job to finish my time at GSB, and I am sure that I will~

Tonight I set up the time and restaurant that I am going to meet with Xiangxiang, and I guess it would be nice to see her again after almost two years...how can time march on in this unsensible way~

Good night!

This is the message that my boy sent to me when he got up in the morning...simple yet firm...touching, absolutely...

I said me too...

My boy and I chatted via IM for almost three hours(absolutely a new record), I couldn’t help bringing up the issue about his visiting China in June...which was just like a stone thrown into the tranquil lake...he was rambling on and on about our amazing long distance relationship, how serious he is, why should he come for one month in June...he’s typing and typing, and I was reading and reading,lol...

The truth is not that I don’t want to travel with him around the southwest of China, but that my dad had a concern about his meeting with the extended family...what can I say...I am the daughter, and I should respect my dad~after all he cares about my happiness, my future, and always economically supports me~

To be honest, it’s very hard to satisfy both...and there are always compromises in life, so I’m going to watch the new episode of Brothers and Sisters "Compromises", lol...

Something more to blog about today: Two of my roommates’ friends (a couple) came last night and slept over, I felt extremely upset about being bothered...my boy said I overreacted to this...I was mad at that time and even ended the conversation with him...later in the afternoon, my roommates and their friends left, and I finally calmed down...I got to admit that I did overreact and my boy was right!!! The good thing is that I grew up again~

Oh, about his coming in June, there would be some compromises for both him and me....I believe~and I sort of have a strong feeling about my steps of this year, which is great~I wish my feeling is right!!!

时钟一转，又过节了，月圆之夜，我是要去独自吃饭，还是独自逛街？

周末面对超市一冰柜一冰柜的元宵，七八种口味，上十个品牌，我完全无从选择，扭头走了；今晚再去超市，冰柜空空，北京人还真爱过节啊～随手拎了剩下的两三种里的一种，结帐时听到价格却让我张大了嘴，好吧，“大三元”的元宵真好吃，美其名曰“玫瑰豆沙”～

新的一年大家貌似都开始努力工作了，于是不可避免我每天在地铁里恶战两场，挤呀推呀，精疲力竭，裤子鞋子又是不堪入目～还好我的大挎包只花了70人民币，让我战斗时毫无顾忌。

我妈说自从过年我回武汉的那天起，每天都是大晴天，我是否该自以为是那都是我带回去的阳光^_^ 虽然在家只呆了短短4天，被舅舅说是养不家的孩子了，回想起来回家还是好的。有从早到晚的吃喝，有相伴说笑的家人，有想见的朋友，有3折的娃娃装，有又好又便宜的发屋，有最熟悉的空气，有童年青春的影子，即使也脏也破也冷，我还是觉得亲切～热干面牛肉粉大嗓门^_^

我又开始做饭带饭了，全因为办公室周边便宜的饭吃不得，贵点的饭又吃了想睡觉（加了什么催眠物质？），不知道能这样坚持几天，大概过不了下个礼拜吧～拎着饭盒走在街上，我有些恍惚，记忆里有个角落也许永远是属于卡梅的，那些人，那些事，流泪的，带笑的～ww照片上，我见到熟人无数，记忆就那么一阵阵往上涌地冲击着我，变的没变的，还是恍惚～

D同学说他第一次滑雪就勇敢无畏地上了double black diamond trail，一路摔下来，我大笑；然后他告诉我穷孩子上私立高中had a hard time的故事，我又有些心酸了。每个人的成长都有太多的故事，我只觉得这世界大得怎样才能看到边呢？

也许对未来有太多的期待，对过去又有过多的留恋，我真的无心无力珍惜当下，又或者我错了？也许我该期待明天晚上又将有一个美丽的烟花之夜～Bless
[face34]

I brought my lunch to the office today, and this is my choice after trying three days to order food in the office. I kinda could not bear the cheap and bad fast food (ok, even the food was not cheap, it was still bad), so I erased my statement that I would not cook and only buy food, I cooked yesterday. The experience turned to be nice and even brought me the memories of studying in Pitt. I was thinking that I would keep doing this for a nice lunch, saving money, and practicing my cooking skills...whatever...my choice...

Last night I started watching Sex and the City again, which sounds crazy, how many times have I watched it? But the show is super and I can always enjoy~Last night, the episode was about choices. Carrie asked, do we have too many choices that we simply don’t know how to choose, are we incapable of choosing because we have too many choices? As I always said, life is about choices...no matter if you are right or wrong. You choose the way to deal with people, the way to deal with things, and the way to deal with results...maybe we learn about how to choose all the time, from either success or failure. (What am I talking about?:))

I chatted with my boy in the morning on MSN, for two hours~that’s really long time~a lot of topics...but I probably would only try to remember one sentence, the first time he mentioned "family" to me...which he may notice or may not~anyway it’s good that I sensed he has actually thought a lot, or maybe planned a lot~

It’s my choice to be with him, and it’s also his choice to be with me~he said it’s very challenging to be a multiculture couple~but that’s our choice~I guess we won’t regret~Bless

[face34]

A quiet weekend, again...I did grocery shopping, I cleaned the apartment, I washed my clothes, and I even cooked...by myself~It’s kinda tough to compare being lonely in the city again with the sweet January, when I was having both my mom and Dan around~but it’s one part of life moving forward, ups and downs~I totally accept it~

Recently the weather has been wonderful with almost sunshine everyday, I know Spring is right at the corner, and my mood was ok too~I set myself a date on Women’s Day with Xin, and felt so excited that finally I am gonna watch Red Roses and White Roses...Yay...I won’t let it be a miss~

Turned out I always have a lot of thoughts in the subway, but when I can sit and blog, those thoughts are gone...which is very frustrating~Another reason for this may be that I write to Dan everyday about my life and I don’t want to repeat here...or it may also be that I couldn’t get any inspiration cause all the shows were paused(what the hell!)...anyway I hope they are good excuses that I didn’t blog as often as before,lol...

Oh, one thing that can always make me excited is that YC is getting married, did I blog here? (I think I did) Things are really going well between T and her, actually she’s brave to ask the question about their future, which I never made...I somehow sort of was curious what Dan was thinking when I told him the news. I understand speaking this out means a lot and would take for a while, and even I myself can not be so sure and ready for that~so I would follow my heart and so would he, and then this would not be a question anymore~

My last gift during the gap period we cannot be with each other was finally sent out around V-day, and it was just today that I realized this could also be a gift for the year of rat...such a match~in that sense I believe everything between us is actually going well too~

It’s way too far from blogging being lonely in the city:) I guess I just randomly brought up some thoughts, which can also be good~days or months or years later, I would enjoy reading them, I knew it:)

Something has been on my to-do list for too long, and I gotta do tomorrow~I mean it!

B.T.W., being lonely in the city sometimes is not that bad~

初五的清晨，我回到北京，街道宽敞而静寂，如果日日如此，也许我会爱上这里。并不知道破五的说法，只是从傍晚开始不断的爆竹和烟花让我阵阵激动，21楼的高层，风景绝佳，那一夜，我看到的烟花许是有生以来时间最长的，我会想那是许我一个美好未来，也可能根本就是冥冥中即成事实的真实庆祝～无论如何，我都愿意相信这是一个意义非凡的烟花之夜。I was blessed~~~

1.
我在家乡日日叫唤寒冷，而我妈总是那个把我唤醒的人，不管以什么方式。我默认了我的娇娇二气。于是眨眼之间，这个假期在我眼里就多了很多美好。毕竟是从小的感情，无论家乡多脏多乱，我还是觉得她可爱，我见家人，见朋友，去这里，到那里，这个年我过得还是－不错的～

2.
再见xx，在家乡，解放公园1号门。我笑说我们第三次见面，在第三座城市，下一次会是哪里？上海，纽约，还是波士顿？偶然认识的xx感觉总象老朋友，真的要相信前世今生么？

3.
我渐渐理解什么是血缘。爸妈在商场买到满意的鞋子，我当然是开心，可是他们对自己一贯地过于苛刻，让我又有些心酸。我的靴子，我的小鞋子，我的长短外套，红蓝粉紫的春装夏装，可曾想过爸妈辛苦大半辈子，真的都是为了我～小小心愿于是生根发芽，我要带他们美东美西，欧洲也去，好么？

4.
我也开始看Gossip Girl，并不合口味，可是练习英语也是一个好机会。看到累了，YC一封关于未来的来信，我就再也看不下去，激动，然后思考，生活好不容易，脑子永远也不能停歇。呆子，we are to be together, for the rest of our lives? Don’t you think so?

First of all, thank god~after several tries and almost reaching the point of giving up, I got to be able to blog here again~I may be the first one to find out~

Today is the first working day after the Spring Festival holidays and apparently I haven’t recovered yet~I spent 6 days in my hometown and I was eager to go back to Beijing even during the first day there, but turned out it was a nice vacation home forgetting about the cold weather~on so many levels~
-I got to spend some time with my parents during the important traditional festival after two years’ absence;
-I got to meet with families and visit my grandparents;
-I got to hang out with Xiaoxiang and talk about love, life...
-I got to shop around and get some great deals;
-I got to grow up: I know this is absolutely vague, but I know what I mean as well, that’s all...
-Last but not least, I got some news that I’ve been looking forward to, although I understand I am still running in the middle~am I seeing the finishing line? I am just crossing my fingers~and keep looking forward~

I started watching Gossip Girl the day before yesterday, and I realized that I was touching another world, the world of the American teens...that was so different~somehow it turned to be my English class, and I couldn’t be obsessed to it as I did to Brothers and Sisters~I am apparently an adult now, not to mention at the end of this month I am getting one year older~I’m not sad, but there are some things that I have to do as early as I could considering about the age.

YC is finally getting married with the guy she loves, and I simply felt too excited about her and her love...the question is: when could I reach the point? It’s not about that I’m going to follow my friends, because almost everyone has got married and I’d never cared before I found my love~It’s that I’ve found mine and how can I push forward~or we push forward the relationship?

On the fifth night of the Spring Festival, I saw beautiful fireworks outside of my room, and I couldn’t help thinking that must be a good sign my year would be beautiful too, I will try to believe so...yet I’m still on the way of pursuing and trying and waiting...I know everything will work out soon~my faith!

It’s a simple review of my 2008 Spring Festival, with complicated emotions, things are moving forward on the right way and the phrase that I used quite often was "look forward to", I mean it~Let me look forward to a beautiful rat year~and the future going on~Bless all~

D has gone back to the US for almost a week, maybe it’s just because we were intensively together for almost 400 hours and I still keep the warm over my body and my soul, I don’t feel like missing him too much, or it’s simply because of my damn job quickly flooding me and I don’t have enough energy to miss him...life goes back to the normal, going to work, fighting with crowds, feeling too exhausted to write my blog...mom has gone back to Wuhan too, sometimes she’s hilarious and could make me happy and laugh from the deep heart, but now she’s thousands of miles away too...well, I know I would go home soon in two days, but the truth is I’m alone again in this city, with no one to hang out together, with no interest to walk around...I don’t care about this much actually...sometimes I do love being alone...

My mood is just so so because job occupies most of my days and I hate it, badly...this job itself is not that terrible though, I hate the people around...they simply don’t know how to appreciate, how to show respect, how to be human beings...I’m surprised that I can bear them. Actually I couldn’t and that’s why I feel bad and complain a lot, but I chose to stay, yes, I did, anyway it definitely won’t be long. I’m waiting for something that I have been looking forward to, and anything unrelated to the "something" won’t bother me too much. So I chose to stay and I chose not to care...

I know my dedication, and I know my way, and I know where my happiness is...so this has been wonderful...