格桑花

That’s what Dan told me in the airport today, although I have no idea when it could happen, I will keep my faith!!!

SEE YOU AT LOGAN!!!

回到北京，也带回了一路雨水，这城市完全不让我觉得亲切。曾经的孤独感又浓重地蔓延过来，以致于身边有爱的人，我也觉得满心凄凉，未来也让我恐惧。。。

去北边仍旧是迷了路，我才意识到，自己在那个国度长的那么一点点认路的本事全部没了，一年以后，那边的生活，那边的记忆，那边的一切，仿佛彻彻底底远离了我，还是恐惧。。。

很多恐惧涌过来，我的自信自然是崩溃，然后就很失态，地铁里越想越难过的时候又落了泪，甚至是D非常不理解的，这个女人又怎么了？

状态始终很差，回来的这十个月于我相当漫长，挥霍时间的时候心仿佛在滴血，可是怎么办，怎么办，我能怎么办？

I know I am lost again...[face09]

从杭州乘动字头到上海，出了车站，偌大的广场，熙攘的人群，让我有些惊惶失措，内心的不自信喷薄而出，还撞上黑车搭了许多句话，最后不甘心，问了广场保安，找到了打车的地方。沿路我都说，上海怎么这么乱，不是全中国最好的城市么，我不是四年前呆得快游刃有余了吗。。。时光荏苒，很多东西一变再变，面目已全非。。。

第二天在人民广场，地铁20多个出口又让我茫然，还好指示清楚，并没走什么冤枉路。四年前博物馆50元一张的门票如今也无存了，我和D在那里消磨了快一个下午，其间我还无理取闹一次，小女人，小女人。步行了南京路，选择了黔系干锅，D和我吃得都还算开心。天有些雾，站在外滩，江对岸的东方明珠只能看到一半，却仍旧让我有些怀旧，有些陶醉，浦东浦西，不变的璀璨，终于这城市开始感染我。

昨天，从乌镇赶回来见纤，淮海路，太平洋百货，大店连小店，霓虹又闪烁，让我近乎着迷，memories flooded back，我还看见曾经坐过的空调926。纤非常之professional打扮，让我恨不得马上换份工作，好有机会也打扮打扮。穿过一条街，就到了新天地，咖啡红酒面包冰激凌，昏暗的烛光，立马让我想起美国，那个我曾经如痴如醉的国度，心里立马下了一个结论，我是喜欢上海的，我是喜欢新天地的。。。而后才发现，那并非一个正确的结论，其实正确的结论是，我依旧是喜欢那份悠闲自由，我依旧是喜欢那个国家的空气，我，真，要不得！

D爱包子，我们去了鼎泰丰，异常之明亮的店堂让我小小兴奋，小笼美味没得说。和纤聊得还算多，她累，也忙，一直惦记老板交代的工作，却还是做了好的host，介绍周边好吃好玩的地方，让我接下来的计划膨胀。在北京，我孤独至死，只有见到朋友才知道自己错过了生活中多少精彩，离开社会有多远，离做一个开心充实的人有多远。这是我害怕，却一步一步被迫走着的路，我想尽快逃离。其实我可以，只不过太懒惰，太胆小。总之，见到纤，有种refreshing的感觉，仿佛细胞又活跃起来，情感又丰富起来。。。纤在LD，心中最美好的祝愿送给她。。。

流水至此，今天要去homes吃红烧肉了[face02]

June 1st was yesterday, the Children’s Day, it came quietly falling on a weekend, and I was away from the crowds in the subway, on the streets... the tranquility at home pleased me a bit, and I was finally able to work on the travel plan and got excited. But at some point, I couldn’t help feeling sad about the kids who might have lost their parents or families in the quake, and yesterday must be the toughest Children’s Day they’d been through. From the news, I got to know a lot of touching stories of theirs, just bless they could be strong and optimistic as always and have a bright future!The hard time can only make us much stronger, and it would never beat us! Yes, all of us should believe it!!!

So I’m talking about this June, I’m taking leave of absence tomorrow (till the end of June) and will meet with my boy in the airport...life is never easy for most people, we’ve been separated, but we are getting stronger. So tomorrow will be a happy reunion after four months’ separation, how wonderful! Sometimes I am a bit confused if I should thank the separation or hate it, if I should thank the hard time or not...if life is supposed to be bumpy, then just take it as it is! So do the kids!

Alright, I guess pretty much one of my new year’s resolutions is coming true, thanks for pushing my life forward in this way!

See you on June 30th!
[face34]