格桑花

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http://yangji2004.yourblog.org/logs/621595.html

There’s the bump one after another, last time was about the school choices, this time, probably also because of the school, which I actually had no idea~I just feel I’m losing the connection with my boy...by reading the cold emails again and again, I was having a lot of thoughts haunting my mind and tears in my eyes~what is he doing now, why does he so easily get tired now, what’s wrong with us...is it the absolute consequence of the long distance? He went back to his single and selfish lifestyle so easily, has he ever thought about me when he’s crazily drinking? What does he really want? I cannot understand. Am I going to fail again? Alright, I’m not strong enough, and if this time I fail again, I may lose my confidence for relationship forever~ Well, there are different kinds of tears, and my heart was getting warm and eyes were getting wet again when I got my cousin’s email around noon. He’s doing fine in Torondo, he’s always positive and nice, or emotional when he mentioned that he wants me to say hi to grandma if I go to visit her later. He’s been my idol since I was a kid and we always played together on the street outside of our grandma’s apartment...time flies~he’s been staying in Canada for 5 years, and meanwhile I’ve been running around the world~but always I could get all the courage and strength from him, he’s actually the one I would never feel disappointed with~he’s always the greatest cousin and friend in my heart. I guess I should not feel sad about the losing connection thing, I should be strong and fight with my life all the time~